Any orgasm is a good orgasm. But what most people with vulvas don’t know is that you can experience different kinds of orgasms through tantra. Here’s everything you need to know about tantric orgasms and how to have one.
What is a tantric orgasm?
Tantric orgasms are about rejecting shame, rejecting judgment, and breathing into the moment—whether you’ve never had an orgasm or have had thousands. Tantric sex, often considered “next-level” sex, is all about exploration, empowerment, and enjoyment. It’s about taking the orgasm beyond just the physical.
Orgasms are important spiritually because they get you out of your head and into your body. At the moment of orgasm, you lose your ego—the sense of being isolated from the source. The state of orgasm is also a state of very high energy—like electricity that runs from your genitals through your spine and whole nervous system. This is what gives you that “orgasmic glow” all day—the sexual chi charge that comes from inside.
Types of tantric orgasm:
1. The clitoral orgasm
It’s called sahajoli, or “the thunderbolt,” because the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings. That’s significantly more than a penis! Activating these nerve endings creates an incredible amount of electricity. In tantra, this type of orgasm travels up the front of the body and feels like a “high note.”
How to have one:
Circling, tapping, tugging, and rolling are all great techniques to play with. Circle the tip of the clitoris with the tip of your finger to stimulate arousal. Try moving from smaller circles to larger ones. Vary the pressure from a feather-light touch to pushing down harder.
Push down on the clit and make small push-and-pull strokes. Then slide your finger down the shaft of the clitoris. Use one finger or several as you tap, gently tug, and circle—it’s all about what connects you to your clit. You may wish to try tantric masturbation to really get into it.
Many people say that direct clitoral stimulation is the “only” orgasm they can have. But if you learn other techniques and touches, you might find that clitoral orgasms create a great gateway to other types—and even multiple orgasms.
2. The vaginal orgasm
The vagina is called yoni in Sanskrit, which loosely translates to “a sacred space.” In tantric philosophy, we approach the vagina from a place of the utmost love and respect, so yoni massage is a practice intended to truly honor the vagina owner and to give them selfless pleasure.
The vaginal orgasm centers around the cervix, which is, energetically, both psychological and spiritual. It’s a full-on, no-holding-back orgasm. The energy of this orgasm travels through the center of the spine and activates at the heart—it feels more like a deep bass drum.
How to have one:
Focus on tantric Kegels and breathwork.
Start in a relaxed, comfortable position, and breathe deeply. Use your Bliss Breath: Constrict the back of your throat, inhale to create a whispering sound, then exhale and release that sound again. Continually take deep, slow, audible breaths.
This helps spread the orgasmic energy throughout your body. For this type of orgasm, you don’t want the energy just in your clitoris. Deep breathing can help move that energy from the yoni to all parts of your body. (Here’s more on how to have a full-body orgasm.)
A Kegel requires squeezing and releasing—tensing and relaxing your vaginal muscles. The secret to putting breath and body together to release this awesome orgasm is to squeeze on the inhale and then, retaining the squeeze, visualize the orgasm rising from the cervix to the crown of the head as white light.
3. The G-spot orgasm
The original translations of the Ananga Ranga, a centuries-old Indian sex manual that draws on the Kama Sutra, refer specifically to the erotic area of the vaginal wall—the saspanda nadi. The G-spot is less a spot and more of an area that feels good when stimulated for some vulva owners.
How to have one:
To find the G-spot, curve your first two fingers like the letter C and slide them into the vagina. Feel for a little soft spongy piece of skin behind the clitoris. You can massage it by making a come-hither movement with your curved fingers. Vary between fast and slow strokes. You can also tickle the clit simultaneously at the tip or place pressure on or above the pubic bone.
Don’t be surprised if this type of stimulation leads to a sudden explosion of wetness, or ejaculation. The liquid that accompanies some orgasms is called amrita, or “nectar of the goddess,” and it’s sacred.
4. The nipple-gasm
Shyama puja is a sensual breast massage considered an empowering activity for people with vulvas. Shyama is the tantric goddess of the heart. It’s said that arousing pleasure through the breasts and nipples awakens that goddess responsible for love and bonding.
Some scientific studies back up these ancient traditions: Nipple play activates the same nerve cortex as clitoral and genital stimulation, suggesting it can absolutely be a site for orgasmic pleasure. You can use this as a self-pleasuring practice, massaging yourself with coconut oil in the shower, or you can bring it to the bedroom with your partner.
How to have one:
Begin by touching your belly. Start with strokes around the belly, rib cage, and in between the breasts to tease yourself. Take your time stirring up sexual energy before getting to the breasts and nipples.
The big secret for this massage is edging, which is finding the edge of pleasure and teasing until the body responds by begging for more. Go slowly. Don’t pressure yourself to get the end result.
Once you just can’t wait anymore, start by tracing the areola with a feather-light touch until the nipples become erect. Then, start gently pinching.
When your body starts responding, continue to massage yourself while doing Kegels. Just keep drawing that energy up to the breasts. This makes a full circle of orgasmic energy in your whole body.
5. Multiple orgasms
Tantra is not about having one big orgasm and you’re done. You can teach yourself to have multiple orgasms, and in tantric sex, even men can have multiple orgasms.
How to have them:
Using the techniques and touches that have worked best—that is, given you an orgasm in the past—practice “going for it” as soon as you’ve relaxed, just a little, from the first orgasm.
You may need to mix things up. According to the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, women with vulvas are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sexual acts and specifically when a mix of both oral sex and vaginal intercourse are included.
When we are teasing ourselves, edging our pleasure, and moving our orgasmic energy throughout our bodies, our orgasms can become like waves moving through every vertebra. After you learn to edge and tease your orgasms, you can release into full-body and multiple orgasms.
6. The energy orgasm.
Simply put, energy orgasms happen when you have unlocked that kundalini sex energy, and it flows freely on command. This is about creating multiple waves of orgasmic feeling, not about writhing in physical ecstasy when you’re stuck in traffic. Here’s our step-by-step guide on how to have an energy orgasm.
Remember, tantric methods aren’t about one quick orgasm. Once you’ve learned to engage your mind and body and focus on pleasure and moving energy, you’ll be able to release all that orgasmic energy at will.
How to practice tantric masturbation:
If you’re looking to try tantric masturbation for yourself, here are some general tips for getting started:
1. Create an environment that’s safe, comfortable, and relaxing
Set yourself up for relaxation and be sure to give yourself enough time to explore. Lighting a candle might be a great place to start. But make sure you’re engaging as many of your senses as possible and really allowing yourself to focus on, well, you. What sort of environment will you enjoy most?
Remember that tantra is more of an ongoing practice that can lead to greater awareness of your sexuality versus a specific masturbation strategy for achieving orgasm. The goal is to learn more about yourself and what you enjoy as you explore. And, if that concept makes you a little nervous, focus on this simple strategy instead: find your bliss.
2. Begin exploring your body and your preferences
Remember to breathe and focus on the overall sensations. Whether or not you start with a fantasy or some kind of sexual imagery is completely up to you. What’s important is finding things that you enjoy without any sort of judgment or self-censorship involved.
Eliminate pressure or expectations for what you “should” be doing and focus on learning about what you enjoy with regard to sex and pleasure.
3. Move slowly
It can be tempting to rush to your destination — whether that’s through clitoral stimulation, penetration, or another method of orgasm entirely — but tantra is about enjoying the journey and understanding more about yourself.
One study suggests that while over a third of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, the type, location, pressure, and even pattern of touch used to bring pleasure varies greatly from woman to woman.
This means that a little self-exploration can definitely go far. For you, this might involve exploring your erogenous zones or discovering different ways to bring yourself pleasure, such as learning to find and stimulate your G spot. It could also mean experimenting with your fingers or a sex toy.
Focus on your individual preferences, whether that’s finding out what they are or simply enjoying the things you already know you like.
4. Don’t stress about it
If it takes a little bit of time to get into it, that’s totally fine too. Tantra is about learning what makes you happy and discovering how to love yourself.
Dr. Brito explains that a little self-love has some totally worthwhile benefits too. She explains that engaging in tantra and tantric masturbation can help increase your overall body awareness, boost your connection with yourself, and help you better understand your own sexual needs, which helps improve your overall sex life.
Regardless of why you’re interested in tantra and tantric masturbation, the beauty of the practice is that it places emphasis on the individual. Instead of following a set of rules or established guidelines, it’s about finding what you like — which is always good.
For women in particular, the days of accepting bad sex as normal are over. Finding what feels great and enjoying the benefits? That’s something we can all get behind.