Have you heard rumors about the incredible orgasmic states possible with tantra and want to know where to start? Are you curious to explore what might be possible in sex beyond the purely physical, achievement-oriented experience? If your curiosity is piqued, you probably want to know how tantric massage actually works.

What is tantric massage?

Tantric massage is a sensual, full-body massage that aims to awaken and distribute sexual energy to facilitate healing, transformation, and spiritual growth between the recipient and the massagist. Tantric massage is an intimate, sensual activity that can help you build a more meaningful connection with your partner by emphasizing pleasure and energy exchange.

In most modern-day practice in the West, tantric massage involves massaging and stimulating the full body with a particular focus on sensitive areas like the penis and vulva. Tantric massage incorporates breathwork, deep breathing, eye gazing, and slow massaging of the erogenous zones, allowing the parties to explore giving and receiving pleasure in an expectation-free environment, where connection, rather than orgasms, are the goal.

Tantric massage is one component of neotantra, a Western practice derived from classical tantra, a spiritual path toward mindfulness and connection outside of oneself, with the ultimate goal of chakra alignment and true enlightenment. Tantric sex and meditation are other popular components of neotantra.

The purpose of tantric massage therapy

Let’s face it, people have much to contend with in modern daily life. We are often overburdened with unhealthy lifestyles, environmental toxins, stress, health problems and disease, and many responsibilities. As a result, we become “heavy” (physically, mentally, and emotionally) and daily life reflects this.

Depression and anxiety, overwhelming emotions, a disconnect from your sensual and sexual self, relationships troubles, hopelessness, feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled in life are just some of the ways this heaviness can manifest.

In such a state, it is easy to forget we are almighty, all-powerful, and all-capable humans with enormous potential. We become disconnected from a deeper aspect of ourselves, lose faith and joy. The luster and miracle of being alive diminish greatly.

Additionally, it is safe to say that every human being has blockages these days. Blockages can be physical, energetic, emotional, mental, sexual, or psychosomatic in nature, and the root cause can vary depending on the individual. These are like imprints or invisible scars that can form from everyday repetitive habits and experiences, childhood events, painful memories, sexual trauma, a terrifying accident, domestic abuse, or deeply rooted psychosomatic issues.

Blockages feed information to your subconscious mind, which then dictates your conscious and outward actions and behavioral patterns. Oftentimes persistent life problems and patterns stem from suppressed or unresolved blockages that are expressing themselves in a covert way.

Authentic Tantric Massage serves to change all that. Because it utilizes powerful forms of energy it has the ability to touch you far beyond just the physical body (even though initially it starts there).

Think of this therapy like a professional, efficient, and thorough house cleaner that comes in and cleans a very dirty house that hasn’t been touched in years. The cleaner dusts the house and clears the cobwebs, unclogs the pipes, washes the windows, steam cleans the floors, and completely declutters the basement. Soon enough the house looks, feels, and smells like new.

In this metaphor, you are the house. The dust and cobwebs are the toxins and impurities that are floating around in your physical tissues. The pipes are your subtle energy channels that are blocked, impeding the free flow of energy. The cloudy, dirty windows are your emotions. The grimy floors can represent your mind, thoughts, and mental landscape. And the basement is the deep subconscious mind where all of your traumas, unpleasant memories, unresolved emotions, and unknown blockages reside.

Enter tantric massage therapy, which clears out anything and everything that doesn’t belong to and isn’t truly you. It provides a total overhaul of your mind, body, and spirit and leaves you feeling confident, refreshed, rejuvenated, happy, optimistic, and spiritually inspired!

What is a tantric massage experience like?

It is important to understand that tantric massage is a whole-body experience. All aspects of your being and all parts of your body are addressed. Nothing is left untouched, even those parts of the body deemed “untouchable” and forbidden by government standards and modern social norms.

Tantra deems the WHOLE body as sacred including the genitals, breasts, chest, feet, head, fingers, and buttocks. The individual parts make up the whole. If there is tension, blockages, or imbalances in any part of the body, the whole body will be affected as a consequence. Everything is connected to everything else. This is a fundamental and universal law.

This is what makes a real tantric massage a unique form of therapy and bodywork – it is truly all-encompassing, holistic, and all-embracing.

To fully benefit from all that tantric massage can offer it is important to first bring the receiver to a deep state of relaxation and calmness in the mind, body, and spirit.

In this condition, you are more open to receiving and rapport can be built between giver and receiver. Also, the parasympathetic nervous system is activated which is the only state the body can turn on its innate healing mechanisms.

In the beginning, tantric massage typically starts off as a hands-on practice where oil is applied, and the physical tissues are massaged from head to toe. Key trigger points are pressed to release energy and that energy is then directed in a precise way. The seven chakras are energized and aroused.

Tantric massage essentially unearths anything that is not natural or not beneficial in your being. It does so in a harmonious and gradual way.

After multiple sessions, your energy channels will be cleaned and cleared more and more, and energy can start to flow freely and powerfully throughout your whole being. This is when the real magic happens.

When the energy starts to be dispersed throughout the entire body, you may start to respond energetically, and the full-body energy orgasm can be induced. Surprisingly, even this phenomenon is not an explicit sexual experience. It is very divine and sublime and extremely healing in nature.

In its more advanced forms, Tantric Massage can be performed without physical touch and working with pure energy only. However, this does take some time and practice to achieve.

Benefits Of Tantric Massage

1. Heightened sexual experiences

One of the biggest reasons people look into tantric massage is for heightened sexual gratification. Some are surprised by the fact that tantric massage is not necessarily about intercourse at all. Nevertheless, practicing this form of erotic massage could indeed lead to having better sex.

Through tantric massage techniques, the giver gains a better understanding of how their partner responds to their touch and energy. The recipient gains a new level of pleasure awareness. These newfound discoveries can easily be carried over into your sex life.

2. Deeper intimate connection with your partner

Science has shown us that human touch is quite powerful, and even deemed as a fundamental of bonding.

Tantric touching is incredibly intimate. The practice teaches you to better appreciate what your partner is experiencing with your touch as the giver—you experience their energy. When reciprocated and you are a recipient, you feel the excitement of your own pleasure, but feel how much your massage partner enjoys creating that experience for you. The encounter can create deeper, more meaningful connections with your partner.

3. Eliminate stress of orgasm-focused encounters

Tantric is never orgasm-centric. It doesn’t matter if anyone gets to a climax point because the focus is on the pleasure of the experience.

For men or women who may have problems reaching orgasm, tantric massage offers a safe erotic experience free from the stress of trying to reach a proverbial finish line.

The beauty of not making the orgasm the “be-all, end-all” is some people are easier able to actually experience an orgasm.

4. Clearing emotional blockages

Blockages can get in the way of typical sexual encounters. Two people who have problems focusing on the pleasure of sex because of emotional trauma or relationship-related hindrances often benefit from tantric massage. In the deep state of relaxation, letting go of boundaries and inhibitions becomes easier, emotional guards can naturally fall away.

As a further advantage, the keen awareness of the energy shared between giver and receiver can help create a clearer pathway of communication in other aspects of the relationship.

5. Gain a deeper understanding of your body

Low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness—a number of sexual challenges can affect both men and women.

About 40 percent of women experience symptoms that qualify as sexual dysfunction and erectile dysfunction could be an issue for about one-third of men. Sometimes this can be the result of a medical issue that can be addressed by a doctor. Oftentimes, however, the symptoms are psychosomatic and can be the result of your body not feeling fully safe and open to connecting with another.

By slowing down and listening to your body as you begin to become aroused, you can notice precisely when and how you begin to disconnect, become numb, or experience pain. When approached with curiosity, you may learn what your body is trying to tell you and how to work with it instead of against it.

6. More intense orgasms

Edging, bringing someone close to climax repeatedly without release, can be an incredible tool to generate more intense orgasms. When the body, male or female, reaches that heightened point of arousal repeatedly without climax, all the pent-up energy accumulates.

Therefore, the end result can be intense waves of orgasms that seem to ripple throughout the body.

How to perform a tantric massage?

To explore the pleasures of tantric massage with your partner, check out the following guide:

1. Prepare a safe space

You should always practice tantra in a space that feels comfortable and sacred. Pick a room in your home and prepare it by cleaning up; dimming the lights; lighting candles, burning incense, or diffusing essential oils; and playing relaxing music. If possible, turn off or silence your phones to avoid distractions and keep you in the present moment. Some couples choose to shower beforehand.

2. Prepare your oil

A good erotic massage includes a high-quality massage oil to increase relaxation, offer pleasurable sensation, and aid in stimulating the genitals. For a tantric massage, choose an all-natural oil (like coconut oil or olive oil) to avoid skin irritation. Warming the oil to touch will loosen it up, allowing it to glide across the skin smoothly, eliciting a more pleasurable sensation throughout the massage.

3. Begin with your partner’s back

Begin your tantric massage session by having your partner lie facedown in your prepared space. Explore their back with your hands, from their scalp and neck down to their feet, using lots of oil, with a loving, sensual touch. Throughout the massage, focus on the buildup and movement of sexual energy in your partner’s body, taking time to note the way your partner’s body responds to different forms of touch in different areas and erogenous zones. Spend at least 20 minutes massaging your partner’s back before moving on to other areas.

4. Massage your partner’s front

Ask your partner to flip over onto their back, then apply oil to your hands or their body, and begin massaging. Explore their whole body, including their neck, arms, chest, stomach, and legs, but avoid directly stimulating their genitals at this stage—simply tease or lightly caress instead. Be conscious of your partner’s body and sexual energy, paying close attention to how they’re feeling and what they enjoy. Spend at least 20 minutes massaging your partner’s front before you move on.

5. Start the lingam or yoni massage

Depending on you and your partner’s comfort levels, you can move on to directly massage their genitals using a lingam massage for penis owners or a yoni massage for vulva owners. As you massage, keep in mind the many different parts of your partner’s anatomy (the head, frenulum, shaft, balls, and perineum for penis owners; the outer and inner lips, clitoris, crura, vaginal opening, g-spot, and perineum for vulva owners). For Lingam massage, pay attention to your partner’s arousal levels—slow down or speed up to draw out the pleasure without focusing on maintaining your partner’s erection or having them ejaculate. If you’re performing a yoni massage, spend at least 20 minutes massaging the outside of the vulva, exploring different sensations, before asking if you may use a finger for additional sensation through penetration.

6. Finish the massage

Since achieving orgasm is not the goal of tantric massage, it can be challenging to determine when the massage is over. After your partner orgasms, continue the massage for at least several minutes afterward to emphasize that the climax was not the goal but a pleasurable side effect. If your partner does not orgasm, continue the massage, slowly deescalating your partner’s sexual energy until you both feel fulfilled and relaxed. Try to avoid transitioning to penetrative sex after a tantric massage, which may establish tantric massage as simply a form of foreplay for you and your partner, weighing down the experience with expectations rather than allowing it to be its own form of pleasure.


Tantric massage is all about creating a highly intimate, pleasurable experience. The massage is not about intercourse or penetration, but heightened states of pleasure awareness. It is important to stay focused on your own pleasure while giving, as well as that of your partner who is receiving. Couples who learn how to give a tantric massage can reap many advantages to both their sex life and their relationship. Practicing tantra can be a good way for people with sexual challenges to experience extreme pleasure with their partner and even overcome certain hurdles that can usually be an issue.