So, you just got home from a great first date with a super cute guy, and you really like him. The conversation flowed naturally, and you felt sparks flying between the two of you all night. You want to see him again, but you aren’t sure how to make the next move. Text after the first date, or wait for him to text you? Is it OK to reach out the day after the date, or are you supposed to wait three days? If you’re not sure what to text someone after your date, look no further! I’ve compiled my best tips for what to text a guy after a first date, complete with sample texts that you can use yourself.
Who should text first after the first date?
Convention dictates that men should always be the ones to reach out first after a date. If you’re more of a shy or traditional kind of girl, or if you like playing hard to get, there’s nothing wrong with waiting for a guy to text you. However, some people believe that rules are made to be broken, and as the saying goes, “tradition is just peer pressure from dead people!”
Lots of guys appreciate a girl who’s not afraid to send that first text message. The truth is that many guys feel nervous about sending the first text, even if the date went really well. If a guy doesn’t text after the first date, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested! Initiating the conversation shows a guy that you’re bold, confident, and, most importantly, interested. If that’s the vibe you want to give off, don’t be afraid to send that text!
If you’re still wondering, “should I text him after the first date?” there isn’t a single answer that applies to everyone in every situation. Ultimately, who sends the first text is a matter of personal preference—both yours and his. It is usually best not to overthink it—if you want to send a text, send one! If this turns him off, he probably wasn’t right for you anyway. The most important texting rules are that the conversation should be equally balanced in terms of length of texts, frequency of texts, and who texts first each time.
When to text after the first date
It can be challenging to know when you should text after a first date. If you text too soon, you run the risk of coming across as a little too eager. Still, if you wait for too long, you run the risk of seeming aloof and disinterested, and the connection between the two of you could fizzle out. The good news is that there’s no such thing as the one perfect time to send that text—you have options, and it’s up to you to pick the time that feels best for your budding relationship.
If you just had an amazing date and are looking for a good opportunity to talk to that guy again, one of the best ways to initiate the next conversation is to send a quick goodnight text. This doesn’t have to be too elaborate—letting him know that you had a great time and wishing him a good night is enough to let him know that you’re interested in him and that he’s on your mind. Alternatively, if he’s the chivalrous type and asks you to text him as soon as you get home so that he knows that you got home safely, you can use that as an excuse to send a quick message! If you’re lucky, that quick “good night” or “the Uber just dropped me off at home!” text might extend into an entire conversation!
If you think that sending a text on the same night as your date is coming on a little too strong, you can also wait until the next day to text him. If you’re the one sending the first text, it’s great to be flirty, but it’s equally important to be direct and honest. One of the best ways to do this is to thank him for a great time, let him know that you want to see him again, and suggest a day that you’re free or a fun activity for your second date.
Convention dictates that you’re supposed to wait three days before reaching out after a first date. Still, nowadays, the three-day rule has become nearly obsolete. It’s not out of the ordinary to text a guy the day after your first date. If you’re radio silent for days, you run the risk of seeming disinterested.
10 text after first date examples
Trying to work out what exactly is normal communication after the first date can be tricky. Knowing who should text first, when to text, and knowing what to text is vital! Most of us have experienced staring at our phones, wondering what to do after the first date.
Need ideas on what to text someone after the first date? Here are ten great examples that you can tailor to fit your situation!
1. Suggest a second date idea
One straightforward way to follow up with a guy after a first date is to mention something that came up in the conversation during your date and use it to suggest a second date. For example, he may have told you about his favorite Mexican restaurant during your date. Many people actually use the trick of hinting at other venues to allow one of you to suggest going there together! If he mentioned his favorite place, you could message him something like this:
Hey, I had a great time last night! I’d love to try the carne asada tacos at that restaurant you mentioned. We should totally go together sometime!
With any luck, you’ll not only have broken the texting ice but also set up your next date!
2. Comment on something you liked
If you’re unsure how to initiate the first conversation after your date, a sure-fire trick is to bring up something you liked about the date. For example, if the guy picked out the coffee shop you met at, thank him for the great suggestion and say something nice about the drink you ordered:
I had an amazing time with you yesterday! You have such good taste in coffee shops, my salted caramel latte was incredible!
Guys like to know when their choices are appreciated. If you’re feeling extra brave, you could even tell him how much you enjoyed his company and conversation!
3. Let him know when you’re free
Another easy way to show a guy that you want to see him again is to let him know the next time you’re free for another date. This doesn’t have to come across as serious or awkward! For example:
I had such a wonderful time last night! I’m free next Friday afternoon if you’re free.
Many guys really appreciate a girl who can be both casual and direct—make it clear you want to see him again but in a low-pressure way. If he wants to see you again, he’ll let you know precisely when he is free!
4. Bring up something about the date
Mentioning something funny or interesting that came up in conversation during your date is a great way to strike up a conversation. For example:
I’m still laughing at that crazy co-worker story you told me! I can’t believe he would do something like that!
This also shows that you remember what he has told you which most people really appreciate. If something funny or unexpected happened, why not share a laugh over that? For example:
I’m still laughing, remembering that waiter spilling a whole tray of drinks! I feel bad for him!
5. Acknowledge the awkwardness
Sometimes dates can be a little awkward, and that’s OK! If you felt like the energy was a bit weird, odds are that he did too. However, if you think there’s still potential for a great second date, sometimes it can be better to acknowledge the awkwardness head-on. That way, you clear the tension in the air and let him know that you’re still interested. For example:
Sorry if I seemed a little off last night. I had a super long day at work, but I still had a great time with you! I’d like to see you again sometime if you’re down?
6. Get flirty
If you felt like the chemistry between the two of you is undeniable, feel free to get a little flirty when messaging him afterward! Note that this tip works best if you feel 100% sure that the date went super well and that he’s the type of guy who appreciates a confident, direct kind of woman. If he seems kind of shy or if the date only went OK, maybe hold off on the super flirty texting until later in the relationship. However, if you’re sure that he’ll respond well to a flirty after-date text, try something like:
I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep after such an amazing date!
7. Be direct
If you’re feeling confident, consider sending a text that gets straight to the point about how you feel. Guys tend to find it refreshing when a girl is bold and honest about what she wants. If the date went really well, send him something like this:
Last night was great. I can’t wait to pick up where we left off!
Avoid vague hints—chances are he either won’t pick up on them (guys often don’t!) or will be unsure how to respond.
8. Give him an ego boost
Complimenting a guy after a date is a great way to kill two birds with one stone. It lets him know that you’re interested in him, and gives him a boost of self-esteem that makes him more confident in his interactions with you. For example:
I had a really great time going ice skating with you last night! You’re practically a pro; I’m going to have to put in a lot of practice to keep up with you next time!
If you think he looked handsome or well-dressed, let him know! Guys often don’t receive these kinds of compliments, and most will appreciate it.
9. Ask a simple question
If the date went well, but not exceptional, gauge his interest by simply asking him if he’s interested in going out again, preferably within 48 hours of the first date:
The sushi was amazing; you have great taste in restaurants! I’m planning on taking a stroll this afternoon, care to join?
10. Let him down easy
Sometimes, there just isn’t chemistry between two people. If your date went poorly and you don’t see any future between the two of you, letting him down easily is the right thing to do. You might be tempted to ghost him, but it’s more considerate to send a quick text to thank him for the date. Let him know that you aren’t interested in seeing him again romantically:
Thanks for last night! I had a good time, but I’m not sure if I felt a dating spark. I’d be happy to hang out as friends, though!
Things you should NOT text after the first date
Now that you know what to text after a first date, here are a few things you should avoid doing.
If you’ve just come home from a fantastic date, getting a little flirty is highly encouraged. However, be careful not to get too explicit, especially if you’ve just met. There’s a fine line between letting the guy know that you think he’s attractive and being desperate. Save your super sexy texts for when you know each other a little better.
It probably goes without saying, but don’t text anything rude or insulting. If the guy behaved selfishly or disrespectfully, there’s nothing wrong with calling this out. But if he was respectful and tried his best, you should keep your criticisms to yourself. You don’t have to go out with him again, but you can politely express this!
On the other hand, you don’t want to come across as too keen or attached to him too soon. Even if you had a great time and literally can’t stop thinking about him, don’t send more than one or two compliments, or anything too intense! For example:
“I had a great time and enjoyed chatting with you” is a lot better than “Wow, you’re so amazing, I can’t believe you’d want to go out with me!” The former is encouraging and friendly, whereas the second one is likely to make him uncomfortable.
It’s also important not to text too much after a first date. Even if you really feel a spark with this guy, make sure you do not come on too strong. Send him a text that expresses your interest in a second date, but after you’ve picked out the time, date, and activity, ease back on the texting. It’s better to save the getting-to-know-each-other for the actual date itself—texting him 24/7 is a little aggressive and might scare him off.
Figuring out what to do after a first date can be super nerve-wracking. Hopefully, these tips give you the confidence to send that all-important first text!