There’s a guy in your workplace who’s extra friendly around you. He always leaves little treats on your desk, brings you coffee every morning, chats you up every day, and he’s ready to help you out with anything. His attention is flattering, and naturally, you wonder what he’s up to. One little problem, though: he’s married! You might be trying to figure out the signs that a married man cares for you and decide what to do next.
20 signs a married man cares for you
Be honest with yourself: do you enjoy this guy’s attention? Do his gestures feel nice rather than annoying? Your intuition about his motives might be correct. Let’s find out if he wants more than just a friendship.
1. He tries to initiate conversations with you
You may think that a married man can be friendly without having a hidden agenda. While theoretically, the probability exists, usually when a guy goes out of his way to chat you up, there are probably hidden feelings involved. He will try to come up with conversation topics so he can get to know you better.
The guy who likes you will strike up small talks or send you a seemingly work-related text message just to keep the communication channel open. Then, if you reciprocate his attention, he’ll start texting you more often. So don’t get surprised if he calls you after work or during the weekend and asks you out because he wants to know you better.
2. He remembers what you like
One thing a guy would do that signifies his affection towards you is how he keeps track of the things you like. If he notices the smallest details about you that other people would not keep in mind, it’s a sign he’s interested in you. For example, he remembers how many sugars you put in your coffee or that you hate coriander in your salad.
By remembering the things you like and the personal details of your life, he hopes to impress you. It also shows his eagerness to get to know you deeper. If the guy in question does this regularly, he probably has intentions to pursue something more than a friendship.
3. He wants to spend time with you
When a married man is interested in you, he’ll try his best to spend as much time together, even if he has a busy schedule. If you work with him or he is a friend of yours, he would want to know you more in a different, more intimate setting. Whether it’s going for a casual coffee or a more romantic activity like a dinner date, he’ll try to make every minute with you count.
To see the level of his attraction towards you, you can also make a note of his effort to see you. He will probably try to sneak in face-to-face interaction with you during his lunch break or when he’s around in your neighborhood. When you notice that he reschedules his other plans just to spend time with you, you can tell that his intentions are pretty serious.
4. He asks about your dating life
If you’re wondering if a married man is falling in love with you, pay attention to this cue. One of the most apparent signs he is interested in you more than just a friend is when he regularly asks about your dating life. He wants to know what’s going on in your personal life to see whether or not you’re seeing someone else and if he has other people to compete with for your attention. It’s also because he wants to be an essential part of your life.
His jealousy can also hint at whether a married man is in love or just being friendly. For example, when you tell him about the other guys you are currently seeing, notice if there’s a tinge of jealousy in his responses. If he has a crush on you, he’ll feel possessive over you, especially when other men are mentioned. Some signs of jealousy include a change in energy, acting tough, or suddenly shifting the topic of conversation.
5. He flirts with you
To take it up a notch, one of the signs a married man likes you is when he starts being cheeky and flirts with you more often. Of course, a guy can be generally flirty. Still, there’s a fine line between friendly banter and a cheeky flirtation fueled by attraction.
A surefire sign that a guy is interested in you is when he starts flirting more openly. This will set the tone that he thinks you’re attractive and sees you as a potential partner.
6. He is seeking physical contact
His body language around you could be a telltale sign if a married man sees you as more than just a friend. He’ll find an excuse to be close to you so he can initiate physical contact. The more he is interested in you, the more physical contact he’d seek. As time goes by, you will see that he doesn’t want to be away from you, even if you’re just in a different room than he is.
People tend to play around with their hair, rub the back of their necks, smile a lot more, or even blush when they are around someone they are crushing on. Pay attention to any of these body language cues to know if a married man wants to pursue something more.
7. He showers you with compliments
Aside from body language, you can also take note of a married man’s compliments on you. Of course, it’s normal for friends to compliment each other. But, when physical attraction comes into play, the compliments multiply tenfold.
The guy will start with “you look nice today” or “you smell good.” But, as his interest grows, he’ll praise your intelligence or some other quality that the other colleagues might not even notice. With his compliments, he wants you to know that he sees you as someone special.
8. He maintains eye contact
Generally, when a man likes you, he would maintain eye contact throughout the conversation. He’ll make sure to gaze into your eyes just to take in your appearance. And even when you’re not talking to each other, he’ll try to steal a couple of glances here and there.
If you can, try to see if his pupils are dilated when he looks at you. There are many reasons why a person’s pupils dilate, and physical attraction is one of them.
9. He grooms himself
Have you observed any changes in his appearance when you see him? If you notice an improvement in the way the man dresses or his overall look, it may be because he’s grooming himself more just for you. Married men sometimes neglect their physical appearance, and a new love interest can be a reason to scrub up.
Next time you see this guy, take note of how he dresses up or how he smells. Pay special attention if he shows up wearing something that he knows you like. For instance, he’ll wear blue shirts more often because his favorite color is blue. Or he’ll start using a musky cologne because you mentioned it’s your favorite perfume scent.
10. He buys you gifts
There’s nothing unusual about a married man’s friendliness towards his female peers. But buying gifts is one of the signs of his romantic attraction towards you. Of course, I’m not talking about the presents you’d get on your birthday, but random gifts that he gives you without any reason.
Maybe the gift can be in the form of a bouquet, a tiny trinket, a piece of jewelry, or something novelty that reminds him of you. No matter what the gift is, if he gives it to you without any occasion, it is likely that he wants to impress you.
11. He avoids talking about his marriage
One of the reasons a married man takes an interest in you might be because he’s dissatisfied with his marriage. He sees you as an escape from his routine, so he’ll refrain from talking about his love life. Instead, he’ll try to focus on the connection between you two.
Talking about his wife may dampen the possibility of a relationship with you, so he tries to steer away from this topic when you are having a conversation. Of course, he might open up to you at some point, but at the beginning, he’d want to focus on you and only you.
12. He sees you as his confidante
When a married man is interested in pursuing you, he will see you as someone he trusts. As time goes by and your connection gets stronger, he’ll open up to you about the problems in his life. He may even confide in what’s bothering him in his marriage.
One of the signs a married man is in love with you is when he’s not afraid to be vulnerable with you, something he may not be able to do with his wife and family. He trusts you enough and hopes that you can do the same in return by making him your confidante.
13. He is comfortable around you
A married man who’s interested in you will be comfortable around you. He feels as if he can be himself around you, putting down the walls and facade that he usually has around other people. This may be in the form of physical comfort. It can also be in the form of emotional support when he can rely on you for advice or share some jokes just between the two of you.
A married man has fallen in love with you if he has put down all of his guards. You will feel as if there’s no barrier between the two of you. You both can connect on an emotional level which you may not experience with anyone else.
14. You can rely on him
When a man is in love, he’ll make sure that he can be a reliable and trustworthy person for you. You can always count on him with whatever you need, whether it’s for emotional support or a friendly favor. He wants to show you that he can be the hero in your life, and his actions are bigger than his words.
Being a man you can rely on also means he won’t judge you no matter what. If you get into trouble, this man will be there to lend a helping hand or even a shoulder to cry on. He’ll provide unwavering support because he wholeheartedly cares about you.
15. He acts protective of you
Scientific research has established a correlation between a man’s testosterone levels and mate retention. Men are wired to showcase their physical prowess to attract the opposite sex. So when a married man acts protective over you, whether it’s through his actions or his words, he likely wants to explore the prospect of going beyond a friendship.
Protective behavior can be as simple as walking on the streetside of you to make sure that you are safe. Or perhaps sending text messages to remind you to have a meal during a hectic day. He’ll demonstrate his interest in you by showing that he wants to take care of you.
16. He skips important events to be with you
A man’s commitment can be gauged by how he prioritizes you in his life. If he starts skipping important events just to be with you, it means he’s seriously into you. This type of behavior shows that you have become his priority, high enough on his list for him to miss other activities in his life.
It’s not easy for a married man to leave family responsibilities behind, such as attending birthday parties or anniversaries. But, if he goes out of his way to spend time with you, things are getting pretty serious.
17. He spends time with you more often
Living a double life is not easy. This man needs to come up with convincing excuses to see you without getting suspected by his family. He might even create an elaborate backstory so he can be with you more often.
The fact that a man is willing to do all this is a sign his intentions are serious. It’s hard to hide a relationship, and he’s risking it all for you. Creating excuses or fake stories just means that he’s prioritizing your presence in his life so that you can be together.
18. He does not wear his wedding ring
If all those signs above still don’t convince you that a married man is interested in you in a romantic way, this one sure will. Have you noticed that he doesn’t wear his wedding ring lately? It’s a telltale sign that he might not love his wife anymore.
Take note of whether or not he’s been wearing his wedding ring because it’s also possible that he’s not the type to wear it regularly. It might also coincide with his recent separation or relationship crisis. However, if you’re sure that he took the wedding ring off after meeting you, it’s very likely that he’s romantically interested in you.
19. He admits that he loves you
When a man is emotionally invested in you, and his connection with you is deeper than with his wife, don’t get surprised if he confesses his love to you. He wants to take care of you, and he does not want to hide his feelings anymore.
He may be showing subtle signs that he’s into you, but when he says he loves you, there is no doubt about his intentions.
20. You can feel that he cares for you
Last but not least, one of the telltale signs a married man cares for you is how he makes you feel inside. Sometimes, you can just tell someone’s feelings for you, thanks to your female intuition. Do you feel loved when you are with him? Does he make you feel special? Trust your gut instinct, because more often than not, it will tell you the right answer. Sure, paying attention to the rest of those subtle signs might give you reassurance as well, but ultimately, it’s how he makes you feel matters most.
Some of the emotions you will feel being with a man who loves you include feeling safe, valued, and appreciated. At this point, you should assess the situation and ask yourself what the best way to go forward is.
What to do if a married man is in love with you
These signs that a married man cares for you are just the tip of the iceberg. Being in love and having a relationship with someone who’s already married can get very complicated. His marriage will always be a limiting factor in your connection, and some hard decisions and possibly sacrifices will have to be made sooner or later. Here are some tips on what you can do to protect your heart.
1. Keep your expectations realistic
From the start, you should get a good grasp of the situation. Take into consideration all the possible outcomes of being involved with a married man. If things go right, the relationship might bloom into a deeper connection. If things go south, prepare to walk away from the situation to avoid complicating things further.
You can set expectations for both of you, so you are there for each other just like a significant other would be. However, try not to be too clingy and demanding of the guy’s time and attention. You are sharing this man’s attention with another woman and possibly his kids, so accept that you won’t always be his priority number one.
2. Don’t demand him to leave his wife
Love can often make us selfish. If you get into a relationship with a married man, you may want him all to yourself and ask him to end his marriage for you. You need to understand that this is easier said than done, especially if he already has children. Leaving his wife will mean divorce, which can be an expensive and time-consuming process.
When the urge to ask him to leave his spouse comes around, keep in mind that you may be asking him for too much. He needs to leave his whole life behind if he chooses to be with you. The decision to end his marriage should come solely from him. If he really loves you, he will eventually decide to be with you.
3. Don’t fall for empty promises
A married man may promise you the moon and the stars that will turn out to be empty words. He may reassure you that you are the only real love of his life but keep your dating secret. Even though he keeps telling you all these sweet promises, his actions should speak louder than words.
Try to see who he is now and don’t fall in love with the potential of who he may be in the future. Don’t let his promises that he will sacrifice everything for you lull you. Take his words with a grain of salt and keep the relationship as honest and transparent as possible.
4. Give him the right amount of attention
When a married man cares for you, you may get swept away off your feet by the thrill of the romance. While you can go with the flow, try not to be too carried away by giving this man too much attention. Circle back to the fact that being in love with a married man means being the other woman until he divorces his lawful wife.
If it turns out that he’s only up for a fling and a distraction from his marriage, all that attention you gave him will be for nothing. Reciprocate the same amount of care and effort he’s giving you and not more. If you are not getting the attention you desire, save your energy and find someone who truly deserves it.
5. Determine his intentions
There is this saying, “Here for a good time, not a long time.” Find out this guy’s intentions when pursuing a relationship with you. Maybe he is only looking for an escape from his relationship routine. If this is the case, don’t become a side chick he will only go to when needed. Your relationship should be based on mutual attraction with an equal amount of commitment.
A married man might find that his marriage was a mistake or he has fallen out of love with his wife. Figure out his intentions so you can adjust your expectations and commitment accordingly.
6. Enjoy the moment
When you are in a relationship with a married man, try to enjoy the moment. Don’t get caught up in thinking about your future with him, especially obsessing over whether or not he’ll leave his marriage for you. Instead, cherish the connection you have right now and focus on fulfilling each other’s physical and emotional needs.
If you fall in love with a married man, it happens for a reason. Maybe you offer each other something you have never experienced before. Whether this is a fleeting connection or this guy is your soulmate, appreciate his presence in your life. Be grateful you’ve found each other no matter what the circumstances are.
Love can come unexpectedly, and nobody is immune from falling in love with a married man. While it’s important to follow your heart, be cautious as well. To avoid heartbreak, consider what you want out of this relationship and make the choice that feels right to you.