Perhaps you and your spouse fell in love a long time ago and have been married for several years (even decades), or maybe you are newlyweds. Well, congratulations! We all know that true love is all about growth, and it’s quite natural for husbands and wives to go through periods of uncertainty. It is also common to wonder if they still care.
Maybe you two are like best friends and still go grocery shopping together but your relationship lacks intimacy, or maybe you’re worried about a specific scenario—in a media-heavy time when we are bombarded with gossip of infidelity, affairs, and cheating, unhealthy thoughts are constantly put into our minds. But if you still spend time together, trust each other, and feel loved, you are likely doing well.
For all of you women in committed relationships left wondering if your husband still loves you, let’s talk about the tell-tale signs that he does!
30 Signs Your Husband Still Loves You
- He’s in tune with you. He seems to always be on the same wavelength as you. It’s as if he’s inside your mind, finishing your thoughts and sentences. He remembers what you say, and he listens to you with a smile on his face. A man who is in love with his wife listens to her.
- He meets your needs. He takes care of your needs. If a man truly loves you, he’ll always look for little ways to make your life better, be it covering you with a blanket when you’re cold, charging your cell phone even when you don’t ask him to, or serving the better piece of chicken to you when you’re not looking.
- He gives you thoughtful gifts. When he is out with his friends or traveling, and he spots something in a shop window that he thinks you need, he picks it up for you because he’s thinking about you always.
- You’re always a part of his big plan in life. The things that matter to you matter to him. If he is planning to go on vacation, he makes the plans with you. He speaks about his future and his dreams with you, and you have a prominent place in them.
- He shows you off. How he behaves when you are out in public says a lot about how he feels about you. If he walks with you shoulder-to-shoulder and holds your hand instinctively when you’re in a crowd, or places his hand on your back while crossing the street, then he is committed and proud to be with you. He also likes showing you off.
- He confides in you. If he trusts you enough to share his problems and insecurities and to seek your advice, it means that your opinion matters a lot to him. He speaks his truth and wants you to be there supporting him.
- He seeks your opinion. He doesn’t make any important decisions about his own life without hearing your opinions and having a discussion with you. You are his life partner, so any decision must involve you too.
- He’s affectionate. He treats you with spontaneous displays of affection. He wraps his hands around you or stands closer to you when you are among friends. He kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone; it’s a way of letting the world know that you’re the one he loves.
- He gives you access. If he allows you to answer his phone calls, it means there’s absolutely nothing he wants to keep concealed from you. If your husband lets you grab his phone, he is not hiding anything.
- He uses “we.” If your husband is fond of using the word “we” instead of saying “I” or “me” while talking and pays you compliments when you least expect it, he loves you. To him, your relationship is much more than just woman and man—you are husband and wife and your life is one.
- He’s very protective of you. He definitely wants to protect you and reassure you. If you’re taking a trip by yourself or even if you’re just driving out with friends, does he like receiving your call after you get to your destination? If your man can only relax knowing that you’re safe, no matter where you are, he definitely has a special spot for you in his heart.
- He’s very interested in your life. If your man loves you, he’ll always be eager to know everything about you. He wants to know what you think about and what makes you laugh. He asks questions because he cares about your answers, and he remembers your answers, too. He knows your favorite color and just how you like your coffee.
- He wants to see you happy. If you had a bad day or you’re upset about something, he wants to cheer you up because he genuinely wants you to be happy.
- He helps you out. He is always ready to offer a helping hand every time you ask him even if he’s busy, without unnecessary grumbling. He believes helping you out of any tight situation is his responsibility.
- He can’t stay mad. He can’t stay mad at you for any reason for more than a couple of hours. People in love can’t stay mad at each other for long; it hurts both lovers too much.
- He says “sorry.” He swallows his pride and apologizes first even if it’s not his fault in any way. If your husband is generally forgiving and tolerant of your faults, that is a very good sign that he still loves you.
- He communicates. He keeps you informed about his life and what he’s up to even though he knows he has no obligation to do so. He doesn’t keep secrets from you.
- He’s respectful. He treats you with a lot of respect. He doesn’t stare at other girls or women when you’re around.
- He listens. He respects your intellect and doesn’t interrupt you in the middle of a conversation.
- He misses you. You are the one he wants to wake up to each day. He finds that when he is not with you, you’re the last person he speaks to or texts at night. He can’t stop thinking of you. He is consumed with thoughts of you. When you call to find out how he is faring, he keeps you on the phone, telling jokes. You’re the last thing on his mind every time he wakes up or goes to sleep.
- He compromises. Instead of insisting on his ways, he doesn’t mind compromising. He sacrifices his happiness to see you happy. This means he understands the spirit of give-and-take in relationships and he is ready to ensure you are happy. It could be something as small as choosing a restaurant that prepares your favorite food when you’re eating out, or going to see a movie he didn’t really want to just because you are interested in it, or missing a night out with friends because he wants to be with you.
- He likes your family and friends. He makes an effort to be liked by your friends and family. He treats you in a way that you think would make your parents and your friends happy and he cares about what your friends and family think of him.
- He talks a lot. If a man loves you, you’ll find that he opens up really easily to you and talks a lot about everything—be it his life, his work, or even about how annoying his friends really are.
- He wants to spend time with you. If he loves spending his spare time with you and his physical attraction to you is undeniable, that is a very good sign that the wheel of love is still very much working. It doesn’t matter to him what you two do, it is just enough to be with you. No matter how busy he is, he doesn’t want to miss a romantic night with you.
- You are a priority. He loves having conversations with you. He goes out of his way to be with you. Whenever you are around, every other thing takes a back seat because you are more important. If he has to cancel a date for any reason, he’ll do everything it takes to make it up to you on the next date.
- He stands up for you. A man who truly loves his wife will stand by her side even if she’s in the wrong and criticize her in private, but never in public.
- You’re his number one. If he has to choose between you and anything else in the world, you come up on top because he doesn’t value anything or anybody more than you.
- He remembers your anniversaries. He never forgets your special days, be it your birthday or anniversary. He makes sure he buys you a gift to mark the occasion.
- He never wants to hurt you. He doesn’t get annoyed with you even if he’s busy and you demand his attention.
- He thinks you’re perfect. He falls in love with your flaws and thinks you’re perfect just the way you are.
- He only has eyes for you. At a social gathering, although he can’t help but notice a beautiful woman, he will be so attracted to you that many of them will slip by unnoticed. He never gives any girl much attention because you are his universe even if he meets a celebrity. The only woman that matters to him is you, and your feelings mean a lot to him.
- He checks you out. You catch him gazing at you adoringly when he thinks you are not looking. When a man stares at you, his affection runs deep.
- His eyes do the talking. If he gazes in your eyes with a sparkle in his, there is a good chance he really cares about you. Men are guarded when it comes to showing emotion.
- He appreciates your gifts. If he wears clothes you bought for him with pride, and cherishes gifts you give him, he loves you. Consequentially, every time your husband does don some item you bought for him, he’s showing that he is happy with you.
- He’s intimate with you. If your husband has an interest in physical intimacy with you, he loves you.
A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
When Is It Time to See a Marriage Counselor?
Couples therapy and seeing a couples therapist can certainly save a marriage if both husband and wife put in the work and talk through their issues. If things do not seem alright, then you need to do something before your marriage faces serious challenges. You can start by asking each other some important marriage counseling questions to prepare for therapy.
Sometimes it is essential to learn how to communicate your needs in conversation. While it is tempting to leave a tired marriage—especially a sexless, emotionless, or neglectful one, sometimes it can be saved. Are you experiencing any of these warning signs he may be cheating?
- He keeps his distance in public: If he keeps off of you in the public, he is either hiding something or he is embarrassed to be with you. (Note: This is not the case if you and your husband are merely conservative when it comes to public displays of affection.)
- He keeps his phone or computer use private: Men aren’t fond of allowing their wives to answer their calls or check their social media. If he seems overly protective of his digital history or digital use, this may be an indication that something is off. You may want to consider the signs that indicate he is texting someone else.
- He avoids you: Does it look like he constantly tries to find reasons to be away from you? If your husband is always busy, always traveling, always at the gym, always with his “boys,” this may indicate that something isn’t quite right.
- He’s lost interest: A man having an affair easily loses interest in intimacy with his wife because he has gotten his satisfaction somewhere else. Make sure to look at his body language.
- He’s irritable: Is he always grumpy? Is he always finding a reason to disagree with you or complain? It may not be depression—you could be facing some very real relationship problems.
- You’re always fighting: If you’re always fighting, it’s time to get some help. Fighting creates high levels of stress hormones and can wreak havoc on the body—not to mention destroy the home environment.
- He’s admitted to an affair: If your spouse has admitted to having an affair and you want to save the marriage, it’s important to address what led to it to begin with.
Know You’re Not Alone
If you are wondering about the status of your relationship, know that you are not alone. It takes two for a relationship to thrive or fail. If you are dealing with some serious issues with your spouse, get help. If you or your spouse are subjected to verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, get help immediately.
These 35 signs are not everything. You may wish to add yours in the comments. If you are looking for ways to improve your marriage, you may want to consider advice on how to keep a marriage happy. Remember: Marriage is not supposed to be an experiment or a trial run, so handle it with the seriousness it deserves. Marriage should be a once-and-for-all union.
Questions & Answers
Question: My husband of nearly 10 years has just told me he doesn’t love me anymore. He said he still finds me very attractive and doesn’t want to hurt me which confuses me and still upsets me. I don’t know whether to give up and let him go hoping his love for me will return or try to make him stay and work things out; or would it push him further away?
Answer: I would prefer you to encourage him to stay and work things out. Find out what went wrong. What made him stop loving you? If you are able to find what went wrong then you can make corrections. Marriage is not static. You must continuously do things that will make your togetherness more platonic.
Question: I am in a confused state. I got married to my husband 12 years ago. I have never been happy, I have not been treated properly, and not been respected. I am in severe depression. I just can’t leave him because I have two kids. There is no sex between us for years, so I am feeling like finding someone who loves me and have an affair. Is it wrong? I have suffered a lot of physical and emotional abuse and can’t take anymore. I am crying even right now. Is having an affair wrong?
Answer: I am sorry you have had a lot of marital problems. Have you tried to examine your attitudes to find out if they turn your husband off? Something must be wrong. Try to find out what you are doing your husband doesn’t like and make corrections. He would have married you because he loves you so find out what has gone wrong. Did you ask if having affairs is wrong? Yes. It is wrong. Try to rekindle the sparks that used to be in your marriage. I wish you a blissful marriage.
Question: I only have 4 out of the 35 signs that my husband still loves me. What does that say about my relationship?
Answer: There is no cause for alarm. As your relationship improves more will be added. You should endeavor to make yourself more lovable.
Question: Why does my husband leave the bedroom?
Answer: If your husband leaves the bedroom, it may mean you are performing in the bed below his expectations. Try to show him more affection.
Question: Should I tell my husband his mistress followed me?
Answer: Yes. If you’re sure she did. You might not know her intention of following you.
Question: I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me. Our wedding is in 7 months’ time. I don’t know whether should I still go ahead to marry him or not. What should I do?
Answer: Confront him with your discovery and see how he reacts. If he is remorseful and apologizes, promising to turn a new leaf, you go ahead, but if he is nonchalant about it, you should call off the marriage. You could be going into a miserable married life.
Question: I usually get silent treatment from my husband because he doesn’t like me drinking. What do I do now?
Answer: You have given the reason why he doesn’t do any of these things. Your relationship is not amiable because you drink. Have you found out why he doesn’t want you to drink? If not, try to find out why he doesn’t want you to drink. If the reason/reasons are agreeable to you, then try to quit the habit & see how he will subsequently behave.
Question: I’ve been married for 2 years, this past week we had an argument and he packed all his things and left saying he doesn’t want to work on the marriage right now, what should I do?
Answer: If you know you were wrong, contact him & apologize. He will see you’re remorseful and will reconsider his decision.
Question: Why will my husband always say I am busy when I make a call to him?
Answer: You should know the type of work your husband does. If it is the type that cannot tolerate distraction, then you should stop calling him while at work except something is really wrong and needs his immediate attention. If you are not convinced he is really busy, then try and find out from him why he doesn’t like to answer calls while at work.
Question: After 34 years of a nearly sexless marriage, my husband was secretive with his cell phone and after a serious conversation, he told me he is attached to men. He says he loves me and does not want a divorce. What should I do?
Answer: It all depends on you. If you could tolerate him for 34 years, you may be able to continue if you don’t mind his association with men. If you do, you have no option but to seek divorce.
Question: We’ve been married for 2 years and I have been struggling since after a month of marriage. He does not listen or understand me, he does not make me feel special or cares much. If we fight he would leave me crying for hours and hours and become egoistic. He never wants to admit his mistake. I do not feel I am loved. He hardly wants to go out, or spend money. He only wants to stay home and rest or watch T.V whenever he has time. I am unsure If he loves me or if is it the only attraction.
Answer: From your statements, it is difficult to know if he works. If he loves staying at home, how does he earn income? If you feel that he does not love you & all your efforts to make him turn a new leaf fails, you might have to file for a divorce but first, try all you can to make him know you don’t like how he treats you. Best wishes.
Question: My husband says he loves me. But won’t go anywhere without people around us. Why can’t we be alone?
Answer: This shows he loves you. If he doesn’t he will not be showing off publicly. You can suggest to him that you will love to be alone with him sometimes & see his reaction. I believe he will comply.